simon zadek

None of Your Business

London: today, at 00.01 GMT, a powerful new force was launched in efforts to address some of the world’s trickiest problems. None of Your Business, known affectionately as the N20 and not to be confused with Salt-n-Pepa’s fourth studio album, is a new, innovative and potentially catalytic partnership made up of key partners. Its declared mission is to promote initiatives that address the urgent needs of their stakeholders and are expressions of their autonomous, self-empowering interests and energies.

None of Your Business’s inspiring, founder, CEO and President explained the partnership’s core theory of change, “We will be perfectly suited to this unique moment in history, when the secret to driving the only change that really counts, ‘slow change’, is to mind our own business“. Responding to questions about the partnership’s members, he patiently explained, “we have to move beyond such crass distinctions as ‘public’ and ‘private’ – we live in a joined-up age and must embrace the Interconnectivity of Things“. “During its initial stage“, he continued, “None of Your Business will focus on undertaking activities, including actions, initiatives and effective communication“.

One of the partnership’s main funders responded to media queries as to the purpose of this remarkable new initiative with the words, “trust is the most important currency of today’s complex world, and minding your own business will be trust’s loyal foundation“.

None of Your Business has received widespread support since its initial outing at a high-profile, invite-only, closed meeting at the prestigious World Economic Forum meeting in Davos this January. Coming out of the meeting, a spokesperson for the climate-campaigning coalition ‘We Mean Business’ talked about the new partnership, “we welcome None of Your Business as a perfect counterforce to our mission and activities, offering many opportunities for those who want a distinct experience in ‘slow change’ world transitioning“.

The English Priminister, who may have been at the midnight launch, welcomed the partnership, reinforcing the sense of it being the spirit of the age. “This is exactly the kind of innovative development England has always been known for, and that must form the bedrock of our future independence“. Speaking from an unknown location, her leader of the opposition remarked, “if this is the will of the people, we will support the fundamental principles laid out by None of Your Business“.

None of Your Business will be registered as an SB Corporation, building on the growing practice of innovative partnerships becoming ‘Self Benefit’ bodies. Speaking from its Luxembourg headquarters, SB Inc.’s CEO explained, “Self-Benefit Corporations finally remove all unnecessary impediments to the kind of flexibility in decision making so critical to bridging today’s troubled waters“.

None of Your Business headquarters will be at 221b Baker St, Marylebone, London.

Inquiries about None of Your Business should be sent to NYB@gov.nyb.

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